Learn Tranquil Mind

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A Beginner’s Guide to Tranquility, Peace Of Mind and Insight

 

What This Guide Will Teach You

This guide teaches Tranquil Mind – a simple, effective meditation practice that uses loving-kindness (warm, caring feelings) for meditating.

Unlike other meditation methods that focus on breathing, this approach is easier, more enjoyable, and often produces faster results.

Key Benefits Reported:

  • Reduced stress and anxiety
  • Improved sleep quality
  • Increased happiness, physical and mental peace
  • Improved interpersonal relationships
  • Insights and revelations about the mind

Understanding Meditation and Mindfulness 

It’s important to understand both Meditation and Mindfulness – here are working definitions that will help you as you learn and practice Tranquil Mind.

MEDITATION = to place one’s attention on an object, typically mental

MINDFULNESS = observing how mind’s attention moves from one object to another

For example, if I asked you to close your eyes, relax, and place your mental attention on the image of an apple, or the feeling of an apple, we could say that you are meditating on an apple.

At some point, your mind will wander away, maybe you’ll start thinking about the taste of an apple, or an apple tree, or a time when you went apple picking. Observing that your mind has wandered off of the apple, your object of meditation, is mindfulness.

Key concept: with meditation and mindfulness, we are not trying to control anything. We are not trying to force anything to happen. We are not trying to make things any different than what they are. Keep this in mind as you practice. Your job is only to observe.

Your meditation object – the feeling of loving-kindness

We use loving-kindness as a meditation object because:

  • It feels good, and pleasant feelings are easier to place your attention on
  • It’s more enjoyable than focusing on breath
  • It naturally makes you happier
  • You’re helping yourself and others by radiating good feelings
  • It builds positive mental habits throughout your day

The Buddha actually taught loving-kindness meditation over 100 times in ancient texts. Details regarding this are outside of this instruction guide, but our advanced teachers are happy to discuss if you’re really curious.

Tranquil Mind is based on the original teachings of the Buddha that have worked for the last 2500 years and counting. The Buddha asked people to “come and see” – that is, to find out from their own direct experience if what he taught works. We encourage you to do the same.

 

Getting Ready to Meditate

Your Meditation Position

  • Comfort first: Sit in a chair or on the floor – whatever feels natural. There is no requirement to be on a cushion, or have your body in a specific position, but most people find that sitting in a chair works well. Do not cross your legs.
  • Stay upright: Keep your back straight but not rigid
  • No special poses needed: You don’t need to sit cross-legged or in lotus position
  • Choose quiet space: Find a relatively peaceful spot
  • If possible, have a dedicated place for your meditation practice

Important: Don’t Move

Once you start, try not to move at all during your meditation:

  • No scratching, shifting, or adjusting
  • No wiggling fingers or toes
  • Think of yourself as a still, peaceful statue with a smile on your face that is relaxed
  • This helps your mind naturally calm down
  • When you are starting out, it’s perfectly fine to not be able to do this for long periods

 

Step-by-Step Instructions

You will want to set aside 30 minutes for your meditation practice. Ideally this is something you’ll do each day, early in the day. Remember that lots of short meditation sittings are better than a few long ones. Just like any other skill or ability, the more you practice, the easier it will get, and the better your mindfulness will become.

Phase 1: Loving-Kindness for Yourself (First 10 minutes) 

Here we are using the feeling of loving-kindness as our object of meditation.

Step 1: SMILE!

This is a smiling meditation. The reason that you should smile is that it has been found that when the corners of your mouth go up, so doe your mental state. When the corners of your mouth go down, so does your mental state. Put a little smile on your lips, but do not stop there. Put a smile in your eyes even though your eyes are closed. You’ll notice there can be
a lot of tension in the eyes. Put a smile in your mind.

And, especially, put a smile in your heart. It can be a mechanical smile at first—eventually, it will turn into a sincere happy feeling. It should be a smile that conveys loving-kindness. It’s important to believe it! Smile with your lips, smile from your mind, and smile from your heart!

If your mind wanders away twenty-five times in a sitting, and twenty-five times you recognize it, release it, relax, re-smile, and return to your meditation, then you’ve had a good meditation. It definitely might not be a quiet and calm meditation, but it is an active meditation, and that can still be a good meditation!

Step 2: Create the Feeling

  • Remember a time when you felt truly happy
  • If you can’t remember, imagine:
    • Holding a cute baby or puppy or kitten
    • A moment of pure joy or contentment
    • Someone you love smiling at you

Step 3: Make Your Intentions

Place this warm feeling in the center of your chest

  • Say to yourself: “May I be happy,” “May I be peaceful,” “May I be calm”
  • Really mean it – sincerely wish yourself well
  • Don’t just repeat words; focus on the actual feeling of caring for yourself

Step 3: Keep It Going

  • When the feeling fades, repeat your phrases to bring it back
  • Don’t make it a chant – use phrases only to restart the feeling
  • About 75% of your attention on the feeling, 25% on the words

Phase 2: Loving-Kindness for Your Spiritual Friend (Remaining 20+ minutes)

Choose Your Spiritual Friend:

  • Pick someone who is:
    • Living (not deceased)
    • Someone you would not have romantic feelings for
    • Not a family member (too many emotional complications for beginners)
    • Someone who makes you smile when you think of them
    • A person you deeply respect and genuinely wish well
    • You do not have to tell this person that they are your Spiritual Friend
    • It could be someone you know personally, or someone that you admire, like a public figure

How to Practice With Your Spiritual Friend:

  • Picture your friend in the center of your chest
  • Say: “Just as I feel happy, may you be happy and peaceful”
  • Surround them with the same warm feeling you gave yourself
  • See them smiling and content
  • Don’t try to “send” the feeling – just let it naturally radiate like warmth from a candle

 

 

The Most Important Tool: The 6Rs

When your mind wanders, and it will, use this simple 6-step process to bring your attention back to your object of meditation – the feeling of loving kindness. When starting out, this will take a period of time to implement but will eventually become an automatic process. Some people, when starting out, will print out the 6Rs and place them where they can be easily seen and referenced.

It’s critically important that you understand the purpose of the 6Rs. They are what we use to gently bring the mind’s attention back to our meditation object. It’s perfectly natural that when meditating, our minds will wander. In fact, we expect this to happen! We call these distractions, because they have pulled your attention off the feeling of loving-kindness.

We never try to force ourselves to make our minds do something, we are not stressing about anything, we are simply feeling and observing. This is unlike other practices you may have tried or heard about. We have fun and take a playful, lighthearted approach to this practice. Keep that in mind as you learn how to meditate.

The 6Rs

  1. Recognize
  • Notice that your mind has drifted away from your meditation object – the feeling of loving-kindness or your spiritual friend
  1. Release
  • Let go of whatever distracted you
  • Don’t analyze it or fight it
  • Just stop paying attention to it, let it go
  1. Relax
  • This is the most important step!
  • Notice any tension or tightness in your head and/or body from the distraction
  • Actively soften and relax
  • This step removes the stress that distractions create
  1. Re-smile
  • Put a gentle smile back on your face
  • Smile with your lips, eyes, and heart
  • This naturally lifts your mood and energy
  1. Return
  • Gently bring your attention back to your loving-kindness feeling
  • Don’t force it – make it a smooth, kind movement
  1. Repeat
  • Use this process each time your mind wanders, and you realize that your attention is no longer on your object of meditation
  • Be patient with yourself – wandering is normal!
  • Be kind to yourself, don’t get serious, don’t “try harder”

Remember: You never push distractions away forcefully. You simply stop feeding them attention and gently redirect back to your object of meditation – the feeling of loving-kindness.

Common Challenges and Solutions

“I Can’t Feel Loving-Kindness”

  • Start mechanical – simply do the steps until it becomes real
  • Try different phrases: “May I be content,” “May I be at ease”
  • Remember: it’s okay to feel good about yourself!
  • If self-criticism arises, treat it as just another distraction to 6R

“My Mind Won’t Stop Wandering”

  • This is completely normal!
  • We expect this to happen to everyone!
  • Every time you notice and return is actually success
  • If you wander 25 times and return 25 times, you had a good meditation session
  • Your mindfulness is getting stronger each time
  • Remember that like any other skill, it takes time to learn and master

“I Feel Sleepy”

  • Try meditating outside in a comfortable spot
  • Sit up straighter
  • Open your eyes slightly if needed

“I Have Doubts About This Practice”

  • Doubt is one of the five common meditation obstacles
  • Treat doubt like any other distraction – observe it and 6R
  • Focus on your direct experience rather than overthinking
  • Give yourself enough time to experience the results of the practice

The Five Common Obstacles (Hindrances)

Every meditator faces these challenges. When they arise, don’t fight them – just 6R them:

  1. Wanting/Craving: “I like this feeling, I want more”
  2. Disliking/Anger: “I don’t like this, make it go away”
  3. Sleepiness/Dullness: Mental fog or drowsiness
  4. Restlessness: Wanting to move, do something else, be somewhere else
  5. Doubt: “Am I doing this right? Is this the right practice?”

Key Point: Don’t feed these obstacles with attention. Instead, relax, acknowledge them kindly but don’t engage with them. We are not trying to discover why they occur. We simply acknowledge they have arisen, we relax and let them go.

Daily Practice Guidelines

Minimum Requirements

  • 30 minutes daily (15-20 minutes to settle, 10+ for actual practice)
  • Consistency is more important than length
  • Most people find that meditating at the start of their day is much easier than at the end of the day

Session Structure

  • 10 minutes: Loving-kindness for yourself
  • 20+ minutes: Loving-kindness for your spiritual friend
  • Use the same spiritual friend every day until a meditation guide adjusts your meditation object

Tips for Daily Life

Throughout Your Day

  • Smile more often
  • Send good wishes to people you encounter
  • Use 6Rs when you feel stressed or upset
  • Remember: this is meant to be enjoyable, not serious work

Practical Examples

  • In traffic: Send loving-kindness to other drivers instead of getting frustrated
  • At store: Smile genuinely at the employees and guests
  • Waiting in line: Practice instead of being impatient
  • When upset: 6R the negative emotion and replace with loving-kindness

Signs of Progress

Early Signs (First Few Weeks)

  • Your mindfulness increases – you notice your mind wandering more quickly than before
  • You feel calmer during and after meditation
  • Daily life feels a bit easier
  • People respond more positively to you

Deeper Signs (With Continued Practice)

  • Joy arises naturally during meditation
  • Deep contentment, tranquility and peace
  • Your body may feel very light or you may not notice it
  • Mind becomes extraordinarily quiet
  • The feeling of Loving-kindness may move into your head. If this does, let it happen naturally and contact an advanced guide for further instructions.

Advanced Experiences

  • Profound states of happiness and peace arise. These are known as the Jhanas.
  • Insights into the nature of your mind and reality
  • Possible awakening experiences such as Nirvana. Nirvana, like the Jhanas, is a mental state that one experiences a result of having developed the meditation practice. These experiences arise on their own; one does not make or force them to happen.

Important Reminders

Do:

  • Smile throughout your meditation
  • Be patient and kind with yourself
  • Trust the process – this method has worked for thousands of years and for thousands of people
  • Keep it light and fun – seriousness creates tension
  • Stay with the same spiritual friend until you master the practice

Don’t:

  • Don’t force feelings – let them arise naturally
  • Don’t analyze your experiences during meditation
  • Don’t change practices – give this method time to work
  • Don’t take your wandering mind personally – it’s just what minds do
  • Don’t skip the Relax step in the 6Rs – it’s crucial!

 

Getting Help and Going Deeper

When You’re Ready for More

  • After mastering the spiritual friend practice, there are advanced instructions available
  • Consider signing up for one-on-one guidance
  • You may want to attend an online or Zoom retreat
  • Physical retreats at various locations are available throughout the year and typically involve a 5-to-10-day commitment.
  • We are always available to answer questions and to help you with your practice. Please use the contact form on the tranquilmind.io website and we’ll get back to you promptly.

Final Encouragement

This practice can be life changing. The Buddha said these teachings are “immediately effective” – you can experience benefits right away, not after years of struggle. Many people see results within a few days or weeks at most.

Even if your progress is gradual, every moment of loving-kindness makes your life and the world a little brighter.

Remember: You have permission to be happy. You deserve peace and contentment. This practice helps you realize that truth and share it with others.

Now go sit, smile, and begin your journey to Tranquility and Peace!

Quick Reference Card

Basic Session (30 minutes):

  1. Sit comfortably, don’t move
  2. Smile throughout
  3. 10 min: Send loving-kindness to yourself
  4. 20 min: Send loving-kindness to spiritual friend
  5. When mind wanders: Use 6Rs (Recognize, Release, Relax, Re-smile, Return, Repeat)
  6. End with gratitude for your practice

Daily life: Smile more, send good wishes, 6R stress and negativity.

Key Point: Tranquil Mind meditation should feel good. If it doesn’t, you’re probably trying too hard.

 

 

 

 

 

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